In old wedding myths, it was bad luck to see the bride in her dress before the wedding ceremony. This dates back to the days when marriages were arranged and the bride and groom didn’t meet till the end of the aisle. It’s said that parents wanted to ensure the groom didn’t back out and call off the wedding. Queue cringe. We’re moving past these outdated trends in 2022 & beyond, okay?
But if you’re really adamant about the “cinderella moment/doors opening/seeing your person for the first time all day at the end of the aisle.” I hear you. Let me share some of my experiences of both scenarios with you in this article.
First, a note. Some photographers and videographers really like to make first looks a bit of a “production”. Meaning, they’ll have you either do it twice or they might be coaching you how to react in order to get a photo that fits in their portfolio.
But not with me.
Here’s how it goes: Before you walk out to see your partner, I’ll give gentle guidance on how to do it and what to expect. Mostly I want you to forget that you’re being photographed (& sometimes mic’d and video recorded too) and just enjoy the moment with your significant other.
Once you walk out towards your partner I don’t stage or manage anything. Whatever true reaction happens is what it is! It’s okay if you don’t cry or have any of those dramatic reactions you’ll see on Buzzfeed’s “These grooms absolutely melted down at the sight of their brides and OMG you’ll never believe what happens next!” (eyeroll) It’s totally normal to just smile and be happy to see your person in their wedding attire :)
Even after all that, if you’re still wondering what are the REAL, TRUE pros and cons of doing First Look? Let’s get to my personal and professional opinions on the subject, starting with the pros:
Pros of doing a First Look:
- More time for portraits and more time spent with your partner on your wedding day. Sometimes we’ll even get 2 sets of portraits – those classic, traditional ones before and those at sunset or twilight that are a bit more creative and romantic.
- Also: if we do all the family photos before, you can go straight to cocktail hour after your ceremony. No waiting for Aunt Susan or Uncle Joe to come back from the bar line. This also helps nix the last minute family groupings your mom might want to throw in.
- Anxious about everyone watching you? Worried you might trip and fall on your face? I can’t promise that a First Look will prevent the latter, but having seen your partner right beforehand will definitely calm some “showtime” nerves.
- No need for “hide the bride” stress while you’re getting ready. It really puts pressure on your vendors to keep one-half locked away during what is supposed to be a romantic day. Don’t you want that to be a relaxing time before the big event?
- If hair/makeup runs late then you will automatically lose most portrait time before hand. This is the number 1 reason a timeline runs late on a wedding day.
- We have to cut down on the number of pre-ceremony group photos and push them all to after the ceremony and leaving you without time to enjoy all of cocktail hour with your guests.
- You have to get fully dressed earlier (at least 2-3 hours before your ceremony, meaning your hair and makeup starts earlier; into your dress earlier. If your dress is complicated and/or you have a lot of wedding party to get dressed this can take a while)
- Your family has to be dressed & camera ready at the same time as well. If your family is not getting ready at the same venue as you, this can cause a huge delay.
- You won’t get that fairy tale, movie “doors opening, music playing, all eyes on you” moment down the aisle if that’s something that’s deeply important to you.
If you’re in the deep waters of planning your wedding day and are on the fence about having a First Look, I always encourage my couples to go for it. I personally love the First Look photos and think it makes for a smoother, and easier wedding day.
You’ll never regret seeing your partner, but you might regret not. Does that make sense? You’re about to declare your love and loyalty to this one person (legally speaking.. not like.. blood oath or anything dramatic.) so you might as well spend 20 extra minutes privately enjoying yourselves. But really, it’s up to you & your partner. I hope this article helped you weigh the Pros and Cons of doing a First Look.
If it were my wedding: Don’t settle for outdated traditions at your wedding.