The Wedding Day Myth: Seeing Each Other Before the Ceremony
In old wedding myths, it was bad luck to see the bride in her dress before the wedding ceremony. This dates back to the days when marriages were arranged and the bride and groom didn’t meet till the end of the aisle. It’s said that parents wanted to ensure the groom didn’t back out and call off the wedding. Queue cringe.
We’re moving past these outdated trends in these times, okay?
But You Still Want That Classic Aisle Moment?
But if you’re really adamant about the doors swinging open and seeing your person for the first time all day at the end of the aisle.” I hear you. That moment can still be incredibly powerful. Let me walk you through both options, so you can make the decision that’s right for you and not just what tradition (or Instagram) tells you to do.
Not All First Looks Are Created Equal
Some photographers and videographers really like to make first looks a bit of a “production”. Meaning, they’ll have you either do it twice or they might be coaching you how to react in order to get a photo that fits in their portfolio.
But not with me.
Here’s how it goes:
Before you walk out to see your partner, I’ll give gentle guidance on how to do it and what to expect. Mostly, I want you to forget that you’re being photographed (& sometimes mic’d and video recorded too) and just enjoy the moment with your significant other.
Once you walk out towards your partner I don’t stage or manage anything. Whatever true reaction happens is what it is! And if your reaction doesn’t make it onto The Knot’s list of “Grooms Who Absolutely Melted Down,” that’s okay. Your love isn’t a viral moment — it’s yours.
So… Should You Do a First Look? Let’s Talk Pros and Cons
Pros of doing a First Look:
- More time for portraits and more time spent with your partner on your wedding day. Sometimes we’ll even get 2 sets of portraits – those classic, traditional ones before and those at sunset or twilight that are a bit more creative and romantic.
- Anxious about everyone watching you? Worried you might trip and fall on your face? I can’t promise that a First Look will prevent the latter, but having seen your partner right beforehand will definitely calm some “showtime” nerves.
- No need to add unnecessary stress by trying to avoid each other the whole day. The whole “hide the bride at all costs” energy can create tension during what should be a calm, joyful morning.
Cons
- If hair/makeup runs late then you will automatically lose most portrait time before hand. This is the number 1 reason a timeline runs late on a wedding day.
- We have to cut down on the number of pre-ceremony group photos and push them all to after the ceremony and leaving you without time to enjoy all of cocktail hour with your guests.
- You have to get dressed earlier. Like at least 2-3 hours before your ceremony, meaning your hair and makeup starts earlier and you are into your dress earlier. If your dress is complicated and/or you have a lot of wedding party who need to use the same room to get dressed this will take a while.
- Your family has to be dressed & camera-ready at the same time as well. If your family is not getting ready at the same venue as you, this can cause a huge delay.
- You won’t get that fairy tale, movie “doors opening, music playing, all eyes on you” moment down the aisle if that’s something that’s deeply important to you.
In conclusion
If you’re in the depths of planning your wedding day and are on the fence about having a First Look, I always encourage my couples to go for it. I personally love the First Look photos and think it makes for a smoother, and easier wedding day.
You’ll never regret seeing your partner, but you might regret not. Does that make sense? You’re about to declare your love and loyalty to this one person (legally speaking.. not like.. blood oath or anything dramatic.) so you might as well spend 20 extra minutes privately enjoying yourselves. But really, it’s up to you & your partner. I hope this article helped you weigh the Pros and Cons of doing a First Look.
At my wedding I definitely wanted a First Look! I knew that with an early sunset time (our wedding was post-DST November) and a large family formals list I wanted to spend time at sunset with our photographers and saying hi to all our guests at cocktail hour. Did I also ugly cry at the walking down the aisle part of the day? Absofreakinglutely.
